Saturday, October 2, 2010

Your smile is mine...


Time passes by, people are striving for their own way. Everything can never be assured to be fine as we expected. I'm sure, everyone are smiling for their future for their own prospect, or better say that they eager to see their tomorrow, wonder what will it gonna be like. And while I am sitting still and just wish that everything will stop here, wish the time to stuck here cause I'm afraid for tomorrow, I'm afraid that tomorrow will never come for me.

There're many things in my head and it go up and up day by day. I wish I can tell everyone about what is the reality within me, what is the truth that I'm gonna be faced. I just want to feel free for everything and tell everyone that I can never be the same like before. Time is really limited for me hmm.........

Like now, I'm here again, in this bed again, in this place again, where's not called my home. It's just somewhere else that the money can worth the caring and treating. How long could I survive with this hardship? How long could I survive to stay here? It's just the question... because everything of mine are not belong to me anymore.

Today, I've made some little things. Just to tell everyone that I'm fine, I'm coming to life again.
I've made something for my bestfriend to show my appreciation for my beloved bffz and to tell him that I'm really thanks for what he has done to me. It's just a day, but honestly, it was so hard for me to walk each step, to hold each breath because everything inside are heard like hell.

It should be the right time, and I will never regret anymore. I've been living in a very good condition of life, environment of family and friends. I've experienced with anything that some people never used to. I have a good family who love me so much, I have my bffz who always near me,..... so it should be enough.

I don't want to waste it anymore, I don't to feel that hardship anymore, I want to give up for everything.
To them, everything is just an illusion, hopes are always around, miracle will happen.
To me, everything is dark, hurt and weak......everything is just a lie. I don't want them to worry that much anymore, I don't want them to endure that hardship with me anymore.

Mum, I love you
Dad, I love you
Bro, I love you
My beloved bffz I love you...
And I know you love me too, let me go!!

Please stay strong and smile to the problem. Don't be that weak. I'm not going to try cause I know myself that there's now way to try.
I want to sleep peacefully, I want to breath easily, I want to relax.....Just now, I'm too tied to move on.

Just remember that, your smile are mine and I will take aways all your sad tears.

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