Not well...

Since last night, I feel like every bad things has come to me again. I was not well, exhausted, hard to breath, couldn't control my hearth beat, my whole body were hurt as like hell. And I have to be here again. Now, I feel like, I'm so weak, not strong as like I've always said. I feel like I'm useless whenever I am here, I hate myself to see everyone of my family rush for me, waste money for me, do everything for me. I'm no saying, I do nothing, I'm smiling, but it's totally hurt to see myself again in this bed, a nice bed but cost much money to my family.

It's too much, it's really too much for them just to let me stay, I'm I worth to stay?? Why you always so nice to me?? Why don't just let me go??

I don't feel that I would be fine, I don't think that I would be the same again...

I feel like everyone don't want to let me go, but when I'm here, when I'm available for everything, they just always ignore, gone or out of sigh. I'm not complaint, but sometimes, I really feel the loneliness within me. And it makes me disappointed everytime....