How to live your life happily??

In each day that passes by, we stand by and witness how our lives are being lived without the full happiness and satisfaction we crave and need. Most people spend their time stressed out, worried and on a constant panic about what needs to be done for their futures, raising their children, wired up over work, school, along with everything else. Does this sound familiar? Well if it does, it is because so many people live with this style and pattern. When you can start living that fully happy and satisfied life?

The only way you can live a happy and satisfied life, is when you start doing things that make you happy and satisfied. Sure, it sounds easy, and can be easy if you just remember to make yourself one of your top priorities. Too many people neglect themselves, feeling that it would be selfish if they took any time out to focus on their own being. While it is good to take care of others and other important things going on in your life, it is mandatory that you never forget about yourself. Discover who you really are and what matters most to you. Living a great life does not just happen. It requires, planning and following those plans to a life that reflects who you truly are.

Most people avoid planning goals and dreams in their lives because they may have a fear of committing to it or failing. They feel that by officially writing it down, they would actually have to go through with pursuing it. This is where you need to rate the importance of your life missions. What is most important to you? Is it gaining a certain amount of weight? Getting your degree? Spending more time with your spouse or children? Whatever the reason or reasons may be, just write all of them down. You may feel that making a mental note of your goals and dreams is enough, but you could very well be setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. By writing it down, you will become a visual witness of those goals. Try writing them in an organizer, with a little reminder written in each day.

Setting deadlines for these goals would be a great way to assure they will be accomplished. Avoid disappointment by setting realistic deadlines. For example, if you wanted to gain 10 kg, do not give yourself a week to do so. You will only torture yourself and become depressed when the week is over and see that you did not come even close to gaining the 10 kg. In fact, you may give up gaining weight altogether because of the failure you experienced, simply because your deadline was unrealistic. Take some time everyday to look over your goals and remind yourself of how important they really are to you. Ask yourself why they are important to you too. Knowing that something is important is not enough. You must know the reasons behind the importance of the dreams and goals you have, so that your mind can see it more clearly and understand exactly why it is so necessary to go through with your missions.

Excuses are demons you must learn to fight off if you wish to start living a happy and satisfied life. Most people claim to have many dreams, but say they just do not have the time to approach them. Stop making excuses! You are the only one who holds the power to make a real difference in your life. Sure, we all have busy lives with our careers and families, but nothing takes up 24 hours of your day. So if something is truly important to you, you will be sure to make the time to work on it. You can do this by replacing it with something less important. For example, if you claim you do not have the time to work on the other important goals in your life, perhaps it is time for you to start making close observations on the way you spend your time. If you spend several hours of the day working, studying, and then several hours taking care of house chores and family, what else are you doing with the rest of your day? If you spend a good portion watching television, then you need to cut back on that and use that time to begin and follow an exercise plan you have been thinking to focus on for a long time (or whatever goal it is you have).

Making yourself one of your first priorities is not selfish. It actually is obligatory to do so in order to succeed in the other subjects of your life. Without a happy and satisfied you, there will be no happy and satisfied life, because you will be stressed out and unhappy. You might be consciously ignoring your needs and desires, but your subconscious mind has not forgotten about you and will constantly remind you through stress, anger, sadness, insecurity and feelings of failure.

Start listening to yourself and becoming the best friend and supporter you need. No one is going to work on your happiness for you, so find the power and motivation stored up inside you, and use it to direct yourself into the path of true happiness and satisfaction. You can do anything you set your mind to, and once you have stopped and gotten in touch with yourself, you will learn and realize just how wonderful and capable you really are, and how you always have been. You will not only realize these things, but also begin loving who are more and more, which will not only lead you to achieving the things that make you most happy, but will guide you into a world of many new dreams come true.

I like, I love and I hate you the most...

These are some words that I want to tell you...

-I like you just like myself...

-I love your more than everything on earth...

-I hate you more than the word could say...

You know why???

All of these because you lie yourself, you treat people just by your feeling, you give them everything and that get all back without leaving anything behind, you convey my truly kindly heart into something else, something that infers me into a bad way...

I knew, I understand about you much more than you could imagine. But sometimes you should learn about me too. Never recall something bad that already happened...

Not well...

Since last night, I feel like every bad things has come to me again. I was not well, exhausted, hard to breath, couldn't control my hearth beat, my whole body were hurt as like hell. And I have to be here again. Now, I feel like, I'm so weak, not strong as like I've always said. I feel like I'm useless whenever I am here, I hate myself to see everyone of my family rush for me, waste money for me, do everything for me. I'm no saying, I do nothing, I'm smiling, but it's totally hurt to see myself again in this bed, a nice bed but cost much money to my family.

It's too much, it's really too much for them just to let me stay, I'm I worth to stay?? Why you always so nice to me?? Why don't just let me go??

I don't feel that I would be fine, I don't think that I would be the same again...

I feel like everyone don't want to let me go, but when I'm here, when I'm available for everything, they just always ignore, gone or out of sigh. I'm not complaint, but sometimes, I really feel the loneliness within me. And it makes me disappointed everytime....

Whatever he told me, it is the truth...

Today, the rainy day, the gloomy day, the awful day. Since the early morning, I feel not well and I had a very headache after back home from Mondulkiri with my dear bestfriends and beloved gangstarz.

I met someone this early morning at Hospital, the one that seems to be the stranger to me, but he knew everything about me, even my health conditions. I'm not wonder about that since I knew that he is the one whose works in that hospital. He comes to me with smile and asked me that, Are you feeling alright today? How is your Holidays? How is your Mondolkiri trip? You might have a great time with your bestfriend right?

Many question come at the same time, but the last one surprise me the most. It's seems like he knows something about me. I then, answered; I'm not so well today maybe it's the result of 3 days at Mondulkiri. It's was awesome and everything there were just perfect to be told....

He continues; Good!! you better go there often then. I really admire your true friendship with your bestfriend, but maybe your friends not that nice for you as you did to them, you better care yourself much and seriously.

I was stuck, I just had nothing to say; "Ok, I know what I'm doing now [Sigh]"

On the way back home, I wondered myself about everything happened just a moment, he seems like he want to tell me something but he couldn't go on or he may want me to realize something. Oh my god! it made my headache even worse. And then I forget about it.

After lunch time, I come to online, to be visible to everyone in Yahoo Messenger. I've never did this long time ago, as normally I just put visible to only my family and another 2 persons, one is AFBF and another one is Nick. There were many offline messages, and many buzz from friends and the others friends that I knew long ago via hi5.

Just when I was about to off, someone knock me, buzz me. He is in my list long ago, but I forget already who he is, why he happens to be in my list. Maybe he knew me by hi5!!

He said hi and asked me about this and that while I'm not interested to do it. I just like so so with that one. And finally he surprised me with his last question; "You still keep in touch with Mickey?(I prefer not to tell who is that one)"

That's question realized me about how I know him, and what he told me last 1 or 2 years ago about my bestfriend, Mickey.

I wrote him; "Yeah, I just back from Mondulkiri with him"

He replied me back and convey something about Mickey in bad way; "Huh? You went with him? Oh god!!" "Don't you know he is....?" "Or you are .... like him?" "Guy, you know him so little".....

At the moment, my temper was rise, my ear was hard to feel, I was like the Vampire, I will kill him just if he was here infront of me, I will kill him and tell him that, Mickey is my bestfriend, you have no right to say something bad about him, You are a shit, a fucking shit, a bullshit, WTF you talking about my bestfriend?

I didnt replied much to that shit, I just wrote him back that, "I knew what I'm doing, I knew well what my bestfriend is, We are friend and good friend. Get your fucking words about my bestfreind back, you are not welcome here". Then I offline and deleted that one from my list.

What's a worse day, why? why I chatted with the one that say something bad about my bestfriend?

Honestly, I really regret to mock him(Mickey) last 2 years about what that fucking guys tell me, and even showed me the picture; I shouldn't believed that fucking guy. I should think much about that. I'm so regret to took this up and mocked him. I was so stupid to believe that fucking guy, I was so stupid to make (Mickey) feels something,..............[Sigh]:(

Mickey is my bestfriend, I don't care what everyone in the world tell something bad about him, I don't care if the world see him in the bad way, I don't care if the world have to leave him behind. I will be the one for him, his bestfriend, his good friend, his brother and his everything and I promise I will never go alway from that stage for him, and I mean it.

"If one day he had to kill me, I would always say that; I'm proud to be his bestfriend, I'm proud to do everything in the sake of our true friendship and I will never regret about it.

"In my dictionary, there is no a lie that came from my bestfriend, whatever he told me is the truth"

My mother...

It was just 4 a.m. and the sky was still in the darkness of an extremely cold morning. The wind blew fast made the dark sky become more dangerous and violent. That time is the moment that everyone on earth are enjoying their sleeping, but my mother was ready to set up again. Hardly did anyone know that where a female was going to do in such that early morning. She was going the kitchen to do a breakfast for her lovely son, Me. And to see me in the bed whether I'm fine or not, the blanket is right on my body or not, how is my breathing, how is my temperature. It's a caring from heart that I believe no one on earth can never be the same. It came from the pure heart of my mother, the one that very important for my life. At the age of 50s, my mother still had to work hard to earn her living and support our family. She still can not enjoy with everything that she has done so far by her very own hand, by her own sweat and blood. This moment of my mother' life that has been instilled in my mind has tremendously helped me in my spiritual, mental, and developmental upbringing.

My mother actually is an ordinary woman but in her tiny appearance lies an extraordinary fortitude, perseverance, a altruistic soul and a very kindly heart. The kind of mother who brought me up with her whole kindly heart, the kind of persistent woman with strong willpower who had to face the toughest challenges in life, and the kind of person who always demonstrated great zeal for every unlucky lives without requiring anything in return and great willingness to help everyone's misery though she did not have much, my mother taught me more than any one else, not only inspired me the strength to overcome hardships in my life, but also left me with invaluable life lessons. Her fortitude and perseverance, as well as her kindly heart have encouraged me to grow up to live the life of an authentic person, a life engulfed with perseverance and determination, a life with heartfelt eagerness to love and to receive love from every one and optimistic beliefs in the future.

My mother's life is the succession of obstacles and grieves. Growing up in a poor family, my mother must work very hard to earn her living since her early ages. Due to shortage of material condition, she herself has trained an extremely strong will and ability to sedately deal with each difficulty and stand up to move on from her failures. And she has devote her teenager's life just for her family, husband and her beloved children.

I vividly remember the calamity poured down my family when I was on a very hard time. We had to sell our houses and our belongings just to help me and believe that I will be fine. This critical time made every member in my family totally upset. But it was my mother, the persistent and brave women, strongly stood up and started over again after this great adversity. Each of her failures, her grief, and the way she overcome difficulties to move on has made an indelible impression in my mind, leaving me with precious lessons about the values of strong wills and indefatigable endeavors to firmly confront with setbacks and bravely conquer them. There was time when I felt that there was no more hope in life, that I felt very weary and was about to give up everything. It was the time when I lost everything and even my life. I was really despaired when all my efforts went to nowhere, three months with my internal hard working toward the fucking disease left me nothing but hopeless and sorrow. I was unable to deal with any small or tiny problems and felt embarrassed to meet my relatives and friends. However, that was also the right time that I learned from my mother how to learn from those hardship time and developed my own tools to take more lessons from them to realize the proper meanings of determination. My patient efforts were compensated when I fought up with those disease and I could manage myself to get up again while everyone around me beard in mind that I could never be gotten up again. All of these difficulties eventually gave me an optimistic view on life which helped me become more vigorous to start all over again and to waive my unhealthy fear of failure.

My mother is a diligent and determined woman who has left me with the right direction of my road, more importantly, she has helped me appreciate this life as precious gifts of ordinary life and true happiness by her kindly heart. Thank to my mother, I was no longer scared of demented people as I used to, but instead, I understood from their eyes the hope to live stable lives.

I can never thank my mother enough for what she has given me. The precious lessons from my mother are the luggage for me to go on my road and discover new horizon of knowledge and make my dream become a reality instead of just a dream. I own my strength to my mother. Her life experience has made me more vigorous to face every hardship, to overcome each failure, and move on. Far more meaningfully, I also realize the invaluable gift of life and true happiness to view the world more optimistically and to believe in the brighter future.

Bad dream ever...

Just now, I got up from a very deep sleep after finished a very long class today. I admit that today class is such a long class I ever used to before. From the early morning to the late evening. And so everyone are so exhausted just the same as me.

Ok, let go to the point. I had a dream, a bad dream, a very bad dream. I know, it was just a dream but it was like a real to blast me out from the bed with a shouted noise. I realized that, I was wet by sweat, hard sweat and I could feel the tear covered all my face. My whole body was still but tremble and shock. I don't wanna tell about what that shit dream was, I don't wanna mention about it!!

Frankly, this few days after I arrived back, I've never had a good feeling at all. I can sense something that not so secure around me. I feel that I'm not alright, I feel that sometime went wrong, I feel like I was followed by something. I was lost already when my good friends walked out from me when they realized something bad about me just by their side. And they decided to give up everything with me. I have no idea, just I feel a little bid awkward to let them go without any complaint. But what can I do besides keeping silent like this??

These couple days, it was a hard time for me to sleep at the night. I'm afraid of everything around me, I'm afraid to sleep, I'm afraid to close my eyes. So I decide to take those sleeping time doing something else like reading, writing or listening to music. I was always thinking and worrying about my bestfriend because I found that he sleeps too late at night, too too late. It's not good at all, it may harm his health and somehow it will lead to another disease of his internal factor. I tried to tell him, just to sleep early. But it seems like he never want to. hmmmmm......:-(

I have many of bestfriend, but most of the time he maybe the one that I can rely on when I face with the hard thing. He is so kind but I'm afraid he will turn his everything out just like my dream at the moment. Ok, it's just a dream. My AFBF is still my AFBF!!

He promised to be the one for me, and so do I. "Good friends are like that, it's what I can feel".

Still in the question in my head, I'm thinking about, if I should go or not to Mondulkiri this coming week?

It's not because I'm worry about my health problem. I'm sure I will be fine with that, I can fight with it because I believe. What I'm thinking is I'm afraid to bother my friends that gonna join this trip......:-(

I'm afraid of sleeping alone, I'm afraid to face with the lonesome night at different place from home while everyone is sleeping.

It's a trip, why they have to care about me, why they have to thinking all the time about me,........

I sometimes need the care, but just asking me that I'm fine or not, it would be enough. I love when you ask me that, "Seth, are you feeling alright?". It's like a pure medicine to heal with all my hardship inside....

Now, it may be the right time for me to read books again. I miss my facebook so bad. Until now, I still cant find the password that I've already forget. It's shame that you forget your own password, but I did. I realized that I forget alots as well. I sometimes even forget where I am, or who I am.......Ok, it's so complicate to explain.

I hope I'm not going to lost everything like my dream was. I hope and wish that I'm not going to lost my memory....Please!

Your smile is mine...

Time passes by, people are striving for their own way. Everything can never be assured to be fine as we expected. I'm sure, everyone are smiling for their future for their own prospect, or better say that they eager to see their tomorrow, wonder what will it gonna be like. And while I am sitting still and just wish that everything will stop here, wish the time to stuck here cause I'm afraid for tomorrow, I'm afraid that tomorrow will never come for me.

There're many things in my head and it go up and up day by day. I wish I can tell everyone about what is the reality within me, what is the truth that I'm gonna be faced. I just want to feel free for everything and tell everyone that I can never be the same like before. Time is really limited for me hmm.........

Like now, I'm here again, in this bed again, in this place again, where's not called my home. It's just somewhere else that the money can worth the caring and treating. How long could I survive with this hardship? How long could I survive to stay here? It's just the question... because everything of mine are not belong to me anymore.

Today, I've made some little things. Just to tell everyone that I'm fine, I'm coming to life again.

I've made something for my bestfriend to show my appreciation for my beloved bffz and to tell him that I'm really thanks for what he has done to me. It's just a day, but honestly, it was so hard for me to walk each step, to hold each breath because everything inside are heard like hell.

It should be the right time, and I will never regret anymore. I've been living in a very good condition of life, environment of family and friends. I've experienced with anything that some people never used to. I have a good family who love me so much, I have my bffz who always near me,..... so it should be enough.

I don't want to waste it anymore, I don't to feel that hardship anymore, I want to give up for everything.

To them, everything is just an illusion, hopes are always around, miracle will happen.

To me, everything is dark, hurt and weak......everything is just a lie. I don't want them to worry that much anymore, I don't want them to endure that hardship with me anymore.

Mum, I love you

Dad, I love you

Bro, I love you

My beloved bffz I love you...

And I know you love me too, let me go!!

Please stay strong and smile to the problem. Don't be that weak. I'm not going to try cause I know myself that there's now way to try.

I want to sleep peacefully, I want to breath easily, I want to relax.....Just now, I'm too tied to move on.

Just remember that, your smile are mine and I will take aways all your sad tears.